


Of Languages, Secret Identities, and College papers

by Ferith12



Series: To See Things Hidden [2]
Category: DCU
Genre: But fun, But that's why he still didn't speak it when his parents died, Dick had a boycott on the English Language, Even though he speaks like every other European language, Gen, I'm Sorry, Terrible writing, This Is STUPID, i hope you enjoy, it's a long story, so unrealistic, unrealistic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 20:49:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6393295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ferith12/pseuds/Ferith12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is... I don't even know.  It was fun to write, and I hope you find it fun to read, despite the glaring impossibilities.  It may or may not be Cannon for my To See Things Hidden 'verse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Languages, Secret Identities, and College papers

”Hey, Flash.” 

The Flash jumped, because that voice did not belong to batman. In fact, it was about as unbatman like as a voice could get, young, and, well, bouncy. 

“Robin!” Flash said, sending him a grin. “What are you doing in the monitor room?”  “Bats said I could fill monitor duty for him.” 

“Batman what?”

The look on the Flash’s face was priceless. It was a mercy that his cowl covered it, mostly. He was pretty sure Robin saw it anyway, though. That was one weird kid.

Said kid laughed.

“Well, it might have taken a bit of puppy dog eyes,” he said, “But Mr. dark and broody actually melted pretty fast. I think he was actually ecstatic to get out of monitor duty, and get me…” he scrunched up his nose like he was thinking in a way that was really adorable, “out from under foot. He had to stand firm for a few minutes though. You can’t have the Justice league knowing that The Batman is actually human and doesn’t especially like to sit staring at a screen all grim and stoic for two hours or enjoy being in charge of a kid who might be slightly hyper and is purposely trying to be annoying.” The kid said the last part with an eye roll that was somehow completely obvious despite the eye mask.

Flash laughed. He loved how Robin made fun of all the dark knight’s dramatics in a way that even he would never dare. Although, it brought up something that he had been wondering for a while.

“Hey, Robin,” he said to the kid who was now… sitting (he was doing some sort of weird contortion but as Wally didn’t really know of any other word to describe the kid’s current state sitting would have to do) in the chair next to him. “How come you say words ecstatic and grim and stoic but more normal stuff you don’t know.”  Robin blushed a little and said, “What normal stuff don’t I know.”

Flash felt sort of bad now. Because he had just run straight into that one without thinking about how embarrassing and awkward a question like that could be. He had mostly been using it as a compliment because, well, stoic? what nine year old is comfortable enough with that word for use in casual conversation. But he of all people should have known that pointing it out like that probably wasn’t the best idea. Still, he was curious, so he went on.

“Well, just last week when I took you up to Canada you asked me what a jacket was called. I mean, most people know that.”

“Oh. Yeah. Well, I guess the advanced vocabulary comes from Batman and Agent A.”

“Batman says Ecstatic?”

“Only when he’s being um…” (there was that cute look again. Well, more cute. The kid was always cute it was actually kind of crazy. Flash guessed he could get pretty much whatever he wanted with those puppy dog eyes of his. And that was with the mask on. He wondered what it was like when those eyes were bare to work their magic. It didn’t help his case much with the other heroes, though.) “Sarcastic?”

“Yeah. That’s the word.” Flash nodded, “Man. Sarcasm by batman. That must be traumatizing.”

“It’s hilarious,” the kid said with a grin. He seemed relieved that the Flash had seemed to have been distracted from his original line of questioning. But of course Flash hadn’t really been distracted. He was used to going off on bunny trails and circling back.

“That sort of makes sense,” he said, “But I’d imagine that even Batman and the mysterious agent A would wear a jacket.”

Robin sighed in a long suffering way, though he didn’t seem to mind really now. In fact he had the tiny smirk that meant he was enjoying the fact that he was about to do something that would probably not be appreciated by certain people.

“Well, actually, I think they’d call them coats, but since I only started the robin deal in May and it’s been an exceptionally warm autumn (there’s a more normal word for that, isn’t there?) it hasn’t really come up.”

“Most people call it fall. At least in America.” Flash said automatically, and then when what he was saying really sank he gaped. “Wait, you’re telling me that you only started to learn English in May?!”

“Well if I told you then I’d lose my plausible deniability. But I bet you can keep a secret. I do trust a few people other than Batman and Agent A. Well, right now just you, so be proud. Just no telling on me to Bats. Yes, I am ESL, not telling you which language, so don’t ask. I’ve sort of been learning english for a year and a half but the first year was all… well, it wasn’t stuff you’d say in polite society, and a lot of it wasn’t really applicable to normal life. So, I didn’t start learning normal english until April which is when I met batman.”

Flash blinked and stared at him for a few seconds.

“You just gave me, like, a bunch of hints about your identity, you know that, right?” he asked. Robin shrugged. 

“Well,” he said, “This conversation never leaves this room, so if you happened to figure out all that, it was definitely not my fault, and if you then went and searched for someone who fit that criteria and figured out the identity of Batman and Robin, well, there was really nothing I could have done about it.”

“You’re a devious kid, you know that?” Flash said. 

“Yep.” Robin replied cheerfully, “Oh, and speaking of identities and keeping things from Batman, I brought you this. I figured you might want to be able to actually write that essay you’re supposed to turn in tomorrow.”

Flash stared in shock. How did the bats do it? It was like he pulled the (admittedly small) laptop out of thin air. And then his words sunk in and shock turned to panic.

“Wait, wait! How do you KNOW about that? Do you know my identity?!”

“Calm down Flash, seriously, you’re worse than batman,” Robin said, in a teasing manner, but there was worry mixed in there too. “No, I don’t know your super secret I.D., all I know is that you’re a college student with a reeeeally bad habit of procrastination, and that you didn’t bring your laptop with you to monitor duty just to play games.”

Flash relaxed. The kid was telling the truth. Despite being batman’s protege he was still not that great at lying, and Flash was a pretty good judge of that himself, actually. It was actually fairly unsettling that Robin knew that much, but not super bad. Still, it was impressive that he had figured out that much, when batman obviously hadn’t. Then realization hit him and he smiled. Robin really was an amazing kid.

“Wait, did you just saddle yourself with monitor duty so that I could get my paper done?” Flash asked.

Robin grinned, “Well… maybe. But I wouldn’t call it “just”. You’re education is important, after all. It would be a shame if you got a bad grade just because Batman’s a grump.”

“Thanks,” Flash said, opening the paper’s document. (Yes, he had actually started it. In fact, he had the whole thing planned out in his head. all he needed to do now was write it. Don’t look at him like that.) He began writing it as he said (because he was good at multitasking and typing at a speed that was way slower than he could because it would fry his computer something that he already had figured out didn’t really take that much brain power) “How did you get the computer from big dark and scary without him noticing?”

“Oh, with great skill and stealth, I assure you, though I’m pretty sure he noticed. I think he just figured I just wanted to play your games or hack the pentagon or something and while he would have to disprove as a good mentor, he really wouldn’t mind me doing that. Especially if I felt in a pranking mood and put something nasty on your computer. He’s the batman, and getting back at you by pranking is, of course, beneath him, but he does enjoy living… vicariously? Yeah, vicariously. I like that word. English does have a few good ones.”

“You didn’t did you? Prank me I mean?”

“You kidding? Of course not. I feel too sorry for you having to do homework. That seriously stinks.

The flash laughed.

For the next half hour or so they sat in silence. Well, the Flash sat and typed, and Robin sat for a second or to, then fidgeted, then contorted, then did a hand stand, then balanced precariously on the back of the chair then… you get the picture. 

Flash could tell it was torture for him to be confined this long. He finished the paper, then read through the thing again in a matter of seconds, fixing any mistakes. Then read it through again. Then he triple checked it. (Yes, about some things, in fact about a lot of things, way more things than people gave him credit for, the Flash was careful. THere’s no need to die of shock.) Then he closed the computer and looked over at Robin, who had given up on the chair entirely, and was now tied in some kind of knot on the floor and sort of… bouncing? He thought it might be a weird sort of jumping hand stand, but he wasn’t sure. Maybe he was going from his hands to his feet and back again? it was all such a tangled mess of limbs that it was hard for him to tell. But Robin somehow made even this weird thing look almost graceful, and he kept at least one eye on the screens, which was really responsible of him.

“Hey,” Flash said, “I finished my paper. If you want you can use my computer now. I don’t have any games though.”

“That’s fine,” Robin grinned. “I’ll just hack the pentagon.”

Flash gaped at him, “I thought that was a joke!”  Robin started typing almost at flash speed and smirked.

Flash groaned. “Please just make sure you don’t let them track it back to my computer. I do NOT need a prison sentence.”

Robin cackled.


End file.
